Well, I’m going to guess that most of you reading this already know me and bits and pieces of my life and my story…but, just in case you don’t, or you are interested in knowing a little more…
I’m Jena! The first and probably most important thing I’d like to share with you is how my life has been dramatically changed over the last few years…
In the past, I defined my life and even my worth by things like friends, clubs/organizations, parties, sports, boys, grades, looks, or any other thing that I thought would somehow gratify me. My mind was wrapped around questions and a constant search for fulfillment. Near the end of my senior year of high school I was at an FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) meeting and a friend asked to play a song before everyone left. The song was “Awakening” by Seven Places – which was more of someone speaking than someone singing, but nonetheless, it spoke right to my heart. I quickly dismissed a lot of the things I mulled over after that by assuring myself that I was okay…I mean, I grew up going to church and Sunday school, I knew some Bible verses, I prayed every once in a while, and it’s not like I ever really did anything THAT bad.
It took some time for me to finally come to grips with the fact that being “good” wasn’t the point, and I actually wasn’t as “good” as I had imagined anyway. A few months into my first year of college a couple girls knocked on my door and asked me if I would be interested in checking out a discussion group. I still didn’t know too many people, so I figured at the least I could meet a few new girls that lived in the dorm. I honestly couldn’t tell you anything we talked about; the only things I remember from that night are hearing the story of how God had changed one girl’s life, seeing something called the bridge diagram, and A LOT of tears! The funny thing is I had seen that illustration and heard similar messages a million times before, but this time, it all “clicked”. (If you’ve never seen or heard of the bridge diagram, it pretty much shows the distance between man and God because of our disobedience, but explains that Jesus died on the cross to “bridge” that gap). God quickly opened my eyes to show me how far away from Him I had strayed and how all my seemly good actions had missed the mark, and my life would continue in the same direction without Him.
That night I heard something that was an entirely new concept to me…a “relationship” with Jesus Christ. God had always just been this big, distant, mysterious…thing…not really available for any sort of relationship?
Over Christmas break I was invited to attend a retreat in Nashville, TN. The week was full of new friends, sightseeing, very little sleep, and some very encouraging stories about college, about God, and about life in general. After everything I had heard, seen, and especially felt over the last few months, I finally knew what I needed; and the last night of the retreat (which happened to be New Years Eve), I decided to surrender my life to Jesus Christ. I don’t remember what I said, but I’m sure it wasn’t an elaborate prayer, and it didn’t need to be – God already knew everything I wanted and needed to say.
My heart and desires were radically changed, almost instantly. I could see how my attitude and behaviors were mean and hurtful, the pleasure I used to get from walking all over other people to build myself up was gone and I was heartbroken and ashamed of what had become second nature to me. But thankfully I didn’t have to worry about the past anymore, everything was gone…my slate was wiped completely clean.
Now, every day I do my best to live my life for the One who gave His life for me. It’s been about three and a half years since my Savior so graciously rescued me and I’m know I’m not the first to admit it’s not always easy, and I’m not even close to being perfect, so of course there are struggles. But, every time I’ve fallen down or wandered away, God has been right there, reaching out to pick me up and put me right back where I belong – beside Him.
So there's an introduction or maybe update for some of you :)…Oh, and the entries prior to this one are all old randoms from MySpace, just FYI...
I’m Jena! The first and probably most important thing I’d like to share with you is how my life has been dramatically changed over the last few years…
In the past, I defined my life and even my worth by things like friends, clubs/organizations, parties, sports, boys, grades, looks, or any other thing that I thought would somehow gratify me. My mind was wrapped around questions and a constant search for fulfillment. Near the end of my senior year of high school I was at an FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) meeting and a friend asked to play a song before everyone left. The song was “Awakening” by Seven Places – which was more of someone speaking than someone singing, but nonetheless, it spoke right to my heart. I quickly dismissed a lot of the things I mulled over after that by assuring myself that I was okay…I mean, I grew up going to church and Sunday school, I knew some Bible verses, I prayed every once in a while, and it’s not like I ever really did anything THAT bad.
It took some time for me to finally come to grips with the fact that being “good” wasn’t the point, and I actually wasn’t as “good” as I had imagined anyway. A few months into my first year of college a couple girls knocked on my door and asked me if I would be interested in checking out a discussion group. I still didn’t know too many people, so I figured at the least I could meet a few new girls that lived in the dorm. I honestly couldn’t tell you anything we talked about; the only things I remember from that night are hearing the story of how God had changed one girl’s life, seeing something called the bridge diagram, and A LOT of tears! The funny thing is I had seen that illustration and heard similar messages a million times before, but this time, it all “clicked”. (If you’ve never seen or heard of the bridge diagram, it pretty much shows the distance between man and God because of our disobedience, but explains that Jesus died on the cross to “bridge” that gap). God quickly opened my eyes to show me how far away from Him I had strayed and how all my seemly good actions had missed the mark, and my life would continue in the same direction without Him.
That night I heard something that was an entirely new concept to me…a “relationship” with Jesus Christ. God had always just been this big, distant, mysterious…thing…not really available for any sort of relationship?
Over Christmas break I was invited to attend a retreat in Nashville, TN. The week was full of new friends, sightseeing, very little sleep, and some very encouraging stories about college, about God, and about life in general. After everything I had heard, seen, and especially felt over the last few months, I finally knew what I needed; and the last night of the retreat (which happened to be New Years Eve), I decided to surrender my life to Jesus Christ. I don’t remember what I said, but I’m sure it wasn’t an elaborate prayer, and it didn’t need to be – God already knew everything I wanted and needed to say.
My heart and desires were radically changed, almost instantly. I could see how my attitude and behaviors were mean and hurtful, the pleasure I used to get from walking all over other people to build myself up was gone and I was heartbroken and ashamed of what had become second nature to me. But thankfully I didn’t have to worry about the past anymore, everything was gone…my slate was wiped completely clean.
Now, every day I do my best to live my life for the One who gave His life for me. It’s been about three and a half years since my Savior so graciously rescued me and I’m know I’m not the first to admit it’s not always easy, and I’m not even close to being perfect, so of course there are struggles. But, every time I’ve fallen down or wandered away, God has been right there, reaching out to pick me up and put me right back where I belong – beside Him.
So there's an introduction or maybe update for some of you :)…Oh, and the entries prior to this one are all old randoms from MySpace, just FYI...
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