If You Are Willing...

A man with leprosy came and knelt in front of Jesus, begging to be healed. “If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean,” he said. Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” instantly the leprosy disappeared, and the man was healed. 

-Mark 1:40-42

Jesus may not physically be in front of me...and I may not have 'leprosy', per say, but...I've still got dirt. I still have frequent moments where I need to fall on my face and ask Jesus to make me clean. There is nothing I can do to fix my 'human condition'...nothing. There is only one way. One truth. One life. And that one touch is enough. His grace IS enough.

So, here I go. Kneeling in front of my savior. Begging to be healed. Lord, if you are willing...make me clean. Because you're the only one who can. 

Do Not Mix...

New and old DO NOT mix. I guess it really is that simple.

“Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before. “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the wine would burst the wineskins, and the wine and the skins would both be lost. New wine calls for new wineskins.”

-Mark 2:21-22

I'm so thankful for this reminder...a reminder and maybe even a little bit of a warning.

Thank you for making me new, Jesus. Please stop me from trying to mix the new with the old. You are all that I need.

Yellow Balloons...

Recently...via PostSecret, an illegal immigrant pledged to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge – “I have lived in San Francisco since I was young...I am illegal...I am not wanted here. I don’t belong anywhere. This summer I plan to jump off the Golden Gate."

...but over 20,000 online voices responded with hope!

And today hundreds are meeting on the Golden Gate Bridge to take a stand against suicide at the very place where it happens most in the world.

PLEASE DON'T JUMP! ♥

You Are Loved...

I completely love the PostSecret project! Sometimes I smile...sometimes I want to cry...sometimes it gives me hope...

Check out the last reply on this post! I just pray that whoever wrote this PostSecret would know they are loved...and I agree, "Come to Indiana. I want you here. You could belong here."

 

Missio Dei...

In three short months I'll be on my way to the rural Guatemalan village of Magdalena to serve a local art school with my church. I feel so very blessed that I've been given such an awesome opportunity to travel somewhere so different from everything I'm used to. I can't wait to see how God uses this trip...not only to share Christ's love, but to completely shake up my world!   

(c) C.S. Love Photography

Please, please pray for me, those I will be traveling with, and those we will be serving in Guatemala! 

And That's All That Matters To Me...

I'm FREE! :) 

God's love has set me free! NOTHING else matters! This world, it's shallowness, the 'stuff', all of it...will be gone in the blink of an eye! But I am LOVED, really LOVED, by the one who made the stars...and so are you! What is better than that? Could anything else EVER come close to that? 

God, Your love IS all that matters to me!

All That Matters - Addison Road

I May Never Be The One That Gets A Second Glance
I May Never Be The One They Call The Prettiest
But That’s Alright With Me

And Maybe I Don't Follow Every Crazy Passion
Spend All My Time Trying To Get A Good Reaction
But That’s Ok With Me

This World Is Like A Trampoline
High And Low No In Between
Jumping At The Chance To Please
Everyone But That’s Not Me

Cause All That Matters Is
All That Matters Is
I Know Your Love Has Set Me Free
And That’s All That Matters To Me

Cause All That Matters Is
All That Matters Is
I Know Your Love Has Set Me Free
And That’s All That Matters To Me

Some People Tell Me To Step Out And Do My Own Thing
And Others Say I Got To Blend In Just To Be The Same
And Stop Being Me

But This Shallow World Is No Longer What I'm Made Of
I've Been Changed By Grace
I've Been Saved By Love
What More Do I Need

All That Matters Is
All That Matters Is
I Know Your Love Has Set Me Free
And That's All That Matters To Me

My Life Comes From The One
Who Made The Stars And Brought The Sun
He Loves Me More Than These
So I Don't Need Another Identity

All That Matters Is
All That Matters Is
I Know Your Love Has Set Me Free
And That's All That Matters To Me

Semper Fi...

I've prayed that prayer so many times...the one that goes something like, "God, let my heart be broken for the things your heart breaks for..." and along with this I've prayed a TON of other prayers that sometimes may have just been things I 'thought' I should be praying for. So many times I've failed to grasp the words coming out of my mouth. And more than once, God has answered those prayers...the ones I hadn't the faintest idea what I was asking for. 

This is without a doubt one of the biggest, if not the biggest, situation my heart has been broken for. A childhood friend of mine lost her husband on March 24, 2010 while he was serving in Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan. 

I've never met Jake, and haven't seen my old friend for years...but I've shed so many tears over this death. My heart has honestly been broken again and again. I'll chalk part of that heart break and a few of those tears to the fact that I have a number of people in my life, who mean a lot to me, serving overseas or who have served in the past. But so much of it is God grabbing a hold of my heart and showing me what His heart is broken for. 

I really can't explain it.

You may know, I'm not the US Government's biggest fan and I HATE war. But not because I'm "political" or whatever comes to mind...but because it's all so far from the way Jesus lived...the was we are called to live. However, realistically, there will always be war...there HAS always been war. So, what do I do with that? Love? Let my heart continue to break? Cry? Pray? Love more? I guess so. I guess I'll love those that I am 'supposed' to hate. I guess I'll cry for the people being killed EVERYDAY. I guess I'll pray God will give me strength, that I could be strength to others. Because what else CAN I do, dammit!

Please, please pray for Jake's wife, Brittney, and his family and friends and those he served alongside!   

  

R.I.P. Lance Cpl. Jacob A. Ross

I am forever grateful!

SEMPER FI

Forgive...

I can't count the number of times I've read this over the last couple weeks.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

- Colossians 3:12-15 (NLT)

"Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." There it is! What else is there to say? It's a requirement. You MUST forgive others. The end. There are no conditions to said forgiveness or circumstances in which it's an option. Forgive.

"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you." I read that and start throwing out excuses. Man, that's not easy. And right now, I just don't want to. I'm mad. I'm still hurt. Look how I was wronged. Oh, but wait a minute...I start to hear God screaming, "IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU!"  

"Remember, the Lord forgave you..." That's right, He sure did. And look what I've done to hurt Him and wrong Him and upset Him. I promise you it was more than once...and I promise you it was much bigger than any wrong that will ever be done to me, any hurt that I will ever feel, or any anger that's stirred inside my being.

That's why God is God and I am not! His response to everything I've done is mercy and kindness and gentleness and patience and LOVE. He doesn't look my junk. He's FORGIVEN me. To Him, I appear perfect and without fault. How do you even begin to wrap your head around that one.

And that's the kind of love and forgiveness I am ordered to extend to someone who has "offended" me?

Well God, fill me with that love. Make me able to forgive. Let me be merciful. Humble my prideful heart and stubborn mind. Give me words and thoughts and actions that speak kindness and gentleness and nothing more.

Off The Streets...

Hey guys! One of my good friends, Eric, who's been on the streets for quite sometime got himself an apartment this past weekend! Praise the Lord! He is, however, in need of almost everything to get him started. A friend of mine put together a list of what he needs most...so, here it is:

Dining Room Table Or Card Table & Chairs
Small Desk
Plates Bowls, Both For Eating And Storage
Towels & Washcloths
13 Gallon Trash Can
Dish Drainer
Cleaning Products
Laundry Basket
Light Bulbs (40w)
Broom And Dustpan 

If you can help with any of these items or have anything else you feel like giving, that would be awesome! Just shoot me an e-mail or give me a call. I'm so happy for Eric! He was one of the first guys I met doing outreach and have gotten to know him more and more over the last several months...He is currently in college and really trying hard to turn his situation around. I'm so proud of him and so thankful that he has been blessed with this apartment. Please keep Eric in your prayers...

Let's Show 'Em The Love That We've Recieved...

It's been a little over a week since a man from around my neighborhood was stabbed and killed. (Here is one of the news stories) It happened just steps away from where some of my good friends live...I love my DAT House friends so much and their desire to share the love of Christ with everyone, period. They recently mailed a letter to the man who is responsible for the murder of Dwayne. In the letter, they "have written boldly about grace and how God offers it to him." Along with them, I am asking that you would pray that his heart would be softened and he would be prepared to hear truth that will so radically change his life! Also, pray for Dwayne's family and friends...and my friends at the DAT House who are stepping out into this neighborhood to simply share the love and truth of our awesome God!

That Stuff Isn't Really For Me...

As I walked under the Pennsylvania Street bridge tonight I started quickly scanning either side, looking for friends among the heaps of clothes and blankets and piles of empty to-go boxes and scattered pieces of trash. Sometimes it's hard to tell if what I'm seeing is a person crouched over under a mountain of blankets or just a conglomeration of mere "stuff".

The first person I spotted was, Bob. I've known Bob for a couple months now...and as far as I can tell, the farthest he's moved these past couple months has been from the one side of the bridge to the other. He sits in his spot all day, everyday...reading. I still remember our first conversation. He had recently lost his home and had been walking back and forth from Greenwood to Indianapolis every day. That night was going to be the first night he would actually sleep on the streets, before he had been staying in "his" house...until the bank finally locked it up. He wasn't interested in going into a shelter, as much as I insisted he should give it a try, he just wasn't going to go. We talked for a while about his life and family and him being a veteran...then we started talk about what I was doing on the streets. I always hear, "What church are you with?" I started explaining who I was and what I do which naturally led me down a perfect avenue to ask him about his faith.

Bob told me he grew up in church, but when he was 13 he walked away from it all. He started to shut the conversation down, so I switched topics and continued talking with him for a few more minutes. When I saw everyone hopping back in the cars, I figured it was time to wrap things up. I asked Bob if I could pray with him...which, if you know me, would totally push me out of my "comfort zone". I just really felt like I needed to ask him though. He ended up telling me no. Told me he thought "Someone else could use it more..." and that "All stuff wasn't really for him..."

Tonight Bob was out of books. I took him four books a couple weeks ago and he's read them three times already. I keep promising him some Frank Peretti books, because he loves the Sci-Fi/Thriller type stuff...just haven't been able to snag any of those yet. Jokingly, I told him I had a Bible in my bag that he was welcome to. There we go, open door. He starts telling me about his Catholic cousin and gay evangelical brother and how the red letters in the Bible really irk him. Here's the problem, according to Bob...How could it even be possible for someone to quote everything Jesus said word-for-word. I'm not sure where he came up with some of the timelines and statistics about literacy back in Jesus' day, but he was sure that it was impossible for those to be Jesus' exact words. The only explanation he would somewhat agree with me on was the fact that the overall ideas in Jesus' teachings are way more important than whether or not his words were written down verbatim. And I'll take that...I will take his half-satisfied, almost-agreement.

Wait now, here is the kicker. The man who told me two months ago that all this stuff really wasn't for him, tells me that us doing what we do and coming out every week has made him think that "...maybe we're right..." And you know, that may not seem like anything huge, but it sure brought a smile to my heart.

My prayer for now is that Bob would continue to ask questions and seek God...and maybe even let us pray with him soon.

P.S. If anyone has any good books I could pass along to Bob, that would be awesome! And if you'd like to come with me to deliver them and meet my friend, that would be even better! :)

News At Davidson Street...

I received a startling text message this morning from my friend Kim telling me that she had just received a starling e-mail saying there were emergency vehicles at Davidson Street -- one of the bigger homeless camps in our city. We have a number of friends living under that bridge, so we were obviously concerned. I went out and drove under the bridge to find...NOTHING! Everything was gone, it was bare...I'd never seen it so empty! Where was everyone? What happened!

I saw my friend Darvin moving his stuff back to his spot and asked him what was going on? Apparently a tent had somehow caught on fire and the city felt the need to extinguish more than the burning tent. The whole bridge...cleared out...the entire thing! Really! You're going to take people's tents, blankets, clothes, water...EVERYTHING! And do it when it's below freezing outside...

If you watch the clip from 6News & TheIndyChannel.com you can see them carrying it all off. My favorite part is the man on probation, doing this community service and trowing away everything these people have, "I gotta ask forgiveness for doin this. This ain't right..." Oh, wait, no...an even better part is Mayor Ballard's feelings of frustration "with groups who make life on the streets possible". Hmm. Guilty. I mean, I'd rather make LIFE on the streets possible, instead of making DEATH on the streets a reality.

But there is really no point in bashing the government or our politicians, it is what it is. And I will continue to do what I feel is right and I will continue to go where the Lord leads. I'm sorry, but I won't quit loving people because someone else doesn't think I'm going about it in the right way. That's just not going to happen. If someone is hungry or thirsty or cold or sad or mad or whatever...I am going to give them food or water or a blanket or shoulder on which to cry. It's that simple. When God breaks your heart for something or someone, there is just no escaping it.

Tonight Curly, Birdman, and myself went out with One Body Ministries to check up on some of our friends...especially those at Davidson Street. It was pretty bare at the bridge. We gave out some blankets and bottled water to a few guys. Mike and Carlton were awake, so I was able to chat with them for a little while. A couple other outreach teams had already been out and brought big pieces of cardboard and Visqueen to help block the wind and elements. I'm not sure where everyone took off to, but I hope we can find most of them tomorrow night.

I also got word that Micky was taken to the hospital on Sunday. I am going to do some checking around tomorrow and see what I can't find out. Please keep Micky in your prayers. His health seems to be going downhill and I just don't know that his body can take an entire winter on the streets. As far as I know, he has no intention of going in off the streets this winter.

I don't know what is going to happen at Davidson Street this winter, but I know I'm going to do whatever I can to make sure the next time the news crews make a visit down there it isn't to report a story about one of MY FRIENDS who has frozen to death!

Music To My Ears, Literally...

I just love seeing answered prayers.

I wrote a little about Micky a while back and how he REALLY wanted to have one "last chance" to play the piano. He's been in pretty poor heath, but you could never tell that by his spirits. He will tell you that he knows his time is coming, but he feels as though its a blessing. And I can totally understand that when he says that he is excited to go home and be with his Dad...with his HEAVENLY FATHER! Really though, what could be better? Nothing! But, I'm not going to lie...this man has had me in tears more than once! He is just such a beautiful soul. It's heartbreaking to see him under that bridge, pretty much waiting to die.

This video is from a couple weeks ago. The Walls family was kind enough to open up their home and let Micky come down and play their piano. He played tons of beautiful Christmas songs and we all sang along and drank hot chocolate. Seriously, something straight out of a move. It was indescribable. I'll tell you I'm not a big fan of Christmas music, but I'm willing to bet I won't forget that day or those songs he played...and that Christmas music I'm not so fond of may just carry some special memories from here on out. I really wish I could explain that afternoon to you...it was simply of God! Praise Him for that!

Keep praying for Micky if you would. For his comfort and safety this winter, and also for a continued feeling of peace that he so frequently expresses. Or, you could just come out and meet him yourself and see just what I'm talking about! Seriously! :)

Our Beautiful Friend, Mickey...

I've been home for a couple hours now, but my toes are still freezing. It was so cold and so windy tonight, but I'm thankful that we were able to make it out to the streets. I FINALLY got to see Mickey tonight. It's been months since I've seen him; and the last thing we heard before we lost touch with him was that he had a heart attack and was in the hospital. We searched and searched and searched, but no luck.

The night we first met Mickey was unforgettable. We got a call from Plainfield United Methodist, who also does outreach on Wednesday nights, asking if we had any blankets. There was a new guy under one of the bridges who had nothing...he wasn't prepared at all to be sleeping outside. As Kim and I sat down to try to get to know this new face, the first thing I noticed was his clothes. Not your everyday homeless guy get-up. He had on a nice collared shirt, dressy pants and shoes, and a peacoat. It was his second night on the streets. Not second night this time around, second night EVER! He told us incredible stories about his life. He is a really neat man...born in Russia, retired school teacher, Jewish, has a handful of children, concert pianist, and it went on and on. None of us wanted to see him stay out there another night, but he said he knew that God wanted him there. So we continued to visit him and tried to get to know him a little better each week for the next few weeks...but it wasn't long until he dissappeared.

A few weeks ago, I had taken some of the High School kids from the Riverside neighborhood downtown to do outreach, while the rest of the "grown-ups" went to the bridges and camps. We all ended up back at the DAT House looking for more stuff...coats, blankets, gloves, and things of the sort. It was then that Kim told me that Mickey was back! NO WAY! I was really glad to hear that...well, not glad that he was back under the bridge, but glad that he was alive! He really did have a heart attack and after he was released from the hospital he visited some friends and family up in Michigan, then made his way back down to Indianapolis.

Honestly though, he is looking rough...the streets and his health are really taking a toll on him. Tonight was the first night I actually got to see him and talk to him since he's been back. He's been asleep a couple of the other times I had come under the bridge...but, he also had ANOTHER heart attack last week! He's talked about "the end" since the day we met him, but he is talking about it a lot more these days. Mickey is certain that it's almost his time. He tells us that he feels blessed to know that...it gave him a chance to make peace with himself, with God, and with a few people...and he is ready to go. I know reading that may sound sad, but if you could talk to him and hear it from his mouth, I promise you would smile as big as we were tonight! I'll tell you that he flipped my night upside down...God sure spoke through him tonight! It's funny how that happens...EVERYTIME, everytime I'm having a crappy day or am in a bad mood or just being a jerk for no real reason. It's almost like God is saying, "Yeah, go ahead. Just TRY to act like you have ANYTHING to complain about. Seriously!" He's funny like that! I wish everyone could sit and talk with Mickey...I can almost promise you would get something incredible out of it as well!

One thing that he did mention tonight was that he would REALLY love to be able to play the piano one last time! (Okay, that part was sad...even with his big beautiful smile.) We are working on making that happen...so pray with us on that one, please!

A few of us are going to try and take him out for lunch Saturday afternoon and hopefully hunt down a piano somewhere downtown...if you've got ideas, those would be super helpful!

Spanky...

Despite the fact that it is barely 25° degrees outside this evening...I'm really glad I was able to be outside hanging out with my friends on the streets!

A lesson I learned quickly when I started doing outreach was not to get too bummed out when we "lose" someone...people are ALWAYS moving around...ALL the time...so it's impossible to keep in touch with everyone you meet out there. Once in awhile we "find" someone out of the blue. Well, it's never an accident...God always seem to put us where He needs us...and sometimes it turns into a nice surprise!

Kim and I met Spanky back in July...and as I walked under a bridge downtown tonight to visit my friend, Rodney, I was introduced to this "new" guy...Rodney was like, "This is my friend, Jena! I'm famous, she will tell you!"...and he does this almost every time I see him. (I was looking at pictures on Flickr one day and someone had taken a picture of him out panhandling...I told him about it and joked that he was famous because he was on the internet...now he tells everyone...it makes me smile!) So, naturally, I asked him what his name was and he says, "Spanky". I got pretty excited...Here is a little bit of what I wrote back when I met him this summer...

"I would like to tell you about Spanky. He promised that was his real name, so as far as I know, Spanky really is Spanky. We bumped into him tonight on Meridian Street. He told us he dances in front of the bars and sometimes that is how he earns money; he was actually dancing when we approached him tonight. He definitely got a smile out of all of us. What really bothers me though, is what happened to him and his friends last night. Spanky and his friends sleep in a parking garage downtown and he woke up last night to someone kicking him in the side, once he realized he wasn’t dreaming and that someone had really just KICKED him WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING, they did it again. He told us he asked them why they were kicking him, but that is about as far as he took it since he is a pretty small guy and he didn’t want to get into a fight. Then he told us he was really scared about things going on in town this weekend. He mentioned that in the past years, during this same weekend of festivities, he has had other homeless friends both SHOT and STABBED, for no other reason than hatred. I’m really uneasy about all of that. I’m not sure how someone can have the nerve to kick a sleeping man, let alone stab someone just because their lifestyle seems strange or bizarre. And this sure isn’t the only story I’ve heard about violent acts being carried out against the homeless people of this city, but this is just fresh in my heart and in my mind." [Rude Awakening...]

We looked for Spanky in quite a few parking garages downtown for a couple weeks after that...no luck. He tried to explain to us where he slept, but we couldn't find him.

But, back to tonight...Rodney told me he found Spanky laying in an alley and he was really, really drunk! He said he "drug" him under the bridge and had been taking care of him for a couple days! Rodney is such a sweet guy...I just love him! We did our best to get Spanky whatever he needed...socks, gloves, a meal...but unfortunatly no underwear. He made sure to tell me he was "free-ballin' it", haha! But seriously...Spanky needs some prayers. He is supposed to be going into rehab on Tuesday. He told us he would find us when he gets out and that he would be a different man. We let him know we were going to hold him to that. So, it looks like I'm going to "lose" Spanky again...but this time I hope I DON'T see him for a while...pray that he can stick it out in rehab and get back on his feet and off the streets!

In Need Of Your Support...

Dear Family and Friends,

I am writing to sincerely thank you for all the support, thoughts, and prayers you’ve provided in my life this far. I’m also writing to invite you to be a part of the next steps in my journey with the Lord. I have received a wonderful opportunity to come onboard as a full-time staff member with an incredible organization called Tear Down The Walls Ministries. TDWM’s mission is to share the love and truth of Jesus Christ with Indianapolis’ homeless population and at-risk urban youth. My main responsibilities include: mentoring TDWM’s high school interns, organizing and facilitating weekly youth group meetings, homeless case management and street outreach, as well as managing phone, e-mail, and social media communication. I am very excited to see how God is working right here in Indianapolis, and how He is allowing me to be a part of it.

These past several months have been exciting and difficult ones to go through. The Lord has been challenging me to follow after Him in every aspect of my life. He has been asking me to chase after Him without worrying; reminding me to simply walk in His footsteps knowing that He has a plan and will continue to guide my path. I feel that this opportunity with TDWM is a vital piece in my walk with the Lord. I have spent a great deal of time volunteering with TDWM and have come face to face with so many people who are frequently thought of as the lowest and most hopeless in our society; but a lack of possessions, less-than-ideal living situation, or past and present struggles do not make anyone less deserving of God’s amazing love. I’m learning to look at the world through the eyes of Christ and reach out with love in all circumstances. I am so excited for this chance to be the hands and feet that help bring the powerful love of Jesus to people who have felt or been told for so long that they are beyond hope or that they are not good enough to be loved. I am so thankful that God has given me a heart able to reject this world’s view of inner-city troubles and those who are hurting or struggling. I am confident that God is going to continue to break my heart for serving those who are constantly shoved aside and continuously overlooked.

As a staff member I am responsible for raising my entire salary. So, needless to say, I am taking a giant leap of faith, but I am completely confident that God has called me to this position and I trust that in following His plan all my needs will be provided.

I am asking you to, first, please partner with me in praying for TDWM and all those who are served through the many programs and services provided. I’d also like to ask you to pray for my effectiveness as part of this organization as well as my personal and spiritual growth.

Second, please consider supporting me financially in this ministry opportunity through start-up or monthly contributions. No gift is too small, nor will any amount of support go unappreciated. Anything you can commit to will bring me closer to my goal and continue to make this opportunity possible.

Finally, think about offering your time, energy, or resources to stand alongside TDWM and myself. There are an infinite number ways that you can make a positive difference in this city, in someone’s life, or even in yourself by being willing to take a step outside your comfort zone.

If you are willing to partner with me and/or TDWM on any level to help extend genuine love and quality time to both the homeless population and at-risk youth in Indianapolis, I have enclosed a Partnership Commitment Card for your response. There are a number of ways you can be a part of this with me, so please do no hesitate to reply with whatever decision or commitment God has laid on your heart.

I have been so blessed by the situations in which God has planted me and the people He has placed around me. It’s almost impossible to explain how much work God has done in my life and in my heart to mold and shape me and bring me to where I am today. I know the thoughts and prayers of great friends and dearly-loved family members had more than a lot to do with that. So, as much as I need your financial support, and I really do, I also really need your prayers.

I want to thank you again for being a part of my life. I’m excited to continue to share with you where the Lord is leading me and what He is teaching me through all this. Please don’t hesitate to keep in touch with me as I continue to journey this path along which God is guiding me.

Because He First Loved Us,

Jena Osbon

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If you are interested in hearing more about TDWM and/or my involvement, please do not hesitate to call, e-mail, or reply via postal mail. Again, anything you can commit to is greatly appreciated and I am thrilled to be able to share this step in my life with you.

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Jena Osbon
946 E. Pleasant Run Parkway N. Dr.
Indianapolis, IN 46203
(574)727-5362
jlosbon@gmail.com
www.jlosbon.blogspot.com

All donations are tax-deductible and checks can be made out to Tear Down The Walls Ministries.

Reality...

As I walked into Watkins last night one of the girls from The Surf (TDWM's 1st-6th grade youth program) came up to me and said, "He got stabbed." I was thinking, what? Who got stabbed? And then I asked, "What!" She pointed to one of the kids who is in The Wave (TDWM's 7th-12th grade youth program). Even though its been a couple months, I still don't know ALL the kids who come hang out with us, but I did happen to know this kid. His name is Bryant. I asked him to come talk to me and was just trying to figure out what happened. This boy is maybe 13, maybe! He's a 7th grader! And he really did get stabbed! What's even crazier to me is this isn't uncommon, it probably isn't as "big of a deal" to most people in that neighborhood as it was to me when I heard it. I tried to get the story out of him and I'm thinking there could very well be some missing pieces in there...but, he told me that him, his brother, and his cousin were all outside this weekend when a kid from school walked up to them and said he was going to kill them -- another Jr. High student, mind you. This kid went back home, grabbed a knife, and came back to the boys with some friends. Bryant told me this kid started swinging the knife around and came really close to him so he threw his arm up to block his face and that's when he was stabbed. He showed me where his arm is all bandaged up and has over 50 stitches inside his arm and over 50 on the surface! He saw "stuff", as he said, hanging out of his arm...but, also made sure to let me know that he did NOT cry! Oh, boys! :) He isn't going to school this week because of it, and I really hope things will be okay when both boys are back in school together.
Please, please pray for Bryant! And pray for Riverside -- we love the kids that we work with and would hate to see anything happen to any of them! God has given a lot of people big dreams and provided them with great imagination of what that neighborhood could be if people would learn to love. So, really...pray for Riverside!

Comment From My Amazing Friend, Cathy:
"Jena,
I have a fondness for all of my Wave kids but Bryant holds a very large place in my heart! I would bring him home in a heart beat if his Momma said it was okay. He is my Buddy! We just got off the phone with his Mom, we called right away when we read this. We found out that we know the boy who stabbed him as well. He used to come to the ... See MoreWave. Bryant's Mom is very scared and upset, as well she should be. It is time to get more serious about these boys lives! Time to step up and do what we as Christians are called to do! This really hits home and brings the reality in to focus of what it means to live in Riverside and how God has placed us there to Disciple these young men and woman and Roar like a Wave over Riverside. Thank you so much for letting us know and your continued work with these kids! We love you Jena!"

"But, I Eat Apples!"...

The happenings at The Wave tonight both shocked and encouraged me. The majority of the students we serve rarely listen to the "talk" part of the evening and of the few that do listen, even less participate in any sort of discussion. That wasn't the case at all tonight...praise Jesus!
Tonight, Patrick told the story about the woman at the well (John 4:1-42) and the aim was to share that Jesus can and will forgive anyone of any sin -- I love how Jesus expresses his gentleness and love in this story! Anyways, it didn't take more than a couple minutes for hands to start popping up and asking questions...I'm not sure where they all came from or why the students chose this week to speak up, but I'm thankful. We did our best to keep everyone on topic and not dig too deep into the "hard stuff" -- you know, the classic theological debate questions. It's so, so, so much more important that we help them understand Jesus' love and forgiveness and the fact that we've all been given the chance to be right in God's sight.
After splitting into smaller groups, we took a few minutes to break things down and give an opportunity for discussion and questions. My girls were FULL of questions! It was really cool to get them thinking about what forgiveness really meant and how serious the love of the Lord really is! It was only a few weeks ago that one of the girls pretty much told me I was wasting my time being there -- she literally told me that maybe if I was "like them" people would listen to me (the neighborhood we serve --Riverside -- is predominantly black). I won't lie and say that thoughts like that have never entered my head, but walking away over skin color makes no sense to me. After asking the girls if they've ever felt if they were "beyond" forgiveness there was some hesitation, so I thew out the fact that I've had those feelings more than once. As soon as I shared a couple examples of things I've struggled with, girls began to sit up and look at me like they understood. Then the conversation got rolling again...and this time I felt like they were listening and were no longer thinking I was some crazy white girl trying to butt into their lives and tell them a bunch of irrelevant garbage! It was question after question after question at this point...Weren't there really 11 Commandments? Does the Bible talk about other planets? It's okay to lie to other people, just not God, right? What if you want to ask for forgiveness after you die? And...one girl shouts out, "But, I eat apples!"...I wasn't ready for that! Her concern was the "fruit" in the Garden of Eden and what kind it was and what if she eats it today?
These young ladies (and gentlemen) could benefit tremendously from opportunities to spend time in the Word. Please pray that they would hunger and thirst for more and continue to ask questions and seek out the answers. Any frustrations I've had over the last couple months were completely stamped out by what I experienced tonight...these kids really are looking for that "something more" out there, whether they've realized that yet or not! I'm excited to see how God is going to use The Wave and move in the lives of the kids in the Riverside neighborhood.

God's Listening...

I love seeing and hearing how the Lord is working in peoples lives...God never ceases to amaze me! There is such encouragement in even the seemingly "small" things.

Today, a couple of us from TDWM met with on of the teachers from IndyMet to help get our newest intern all set up and ready to go. Aqilla has actually been volunteering with us for the last few months, so it was exciting to hear that she wanted to intern with TDWM. She will be working with us on Wednesdays, which happens to be one of the days that we have our Bible study and lunch. I could sense some excitement from her when she realized that as part of her internship she was going to get to study the Word...personally, I think I had that same feeling of excitement when I realized that one of the really great things about working with TDWM full-time meant that, twice a week, it was my "job" to study the Bible. And, although seeing her enthusiasm was a real blessing, there is more...

On Thursday nights we have our youth program for students in grades 7-12, called The Wave, which Aqilla is apart of, along with her older sister and one of our other interns. We talked tonight about how God DOES use young people and discussed the stories of people like Ruth and David. While explaining how important it is to listen to God in order to know where He needs us to be and what He needs us to do, it was mentioned that it is absolutely crucial to spend time reading God's word. It is amazing how God can speak to each and every one of us through that book, that we may have read a million times over OR never even opened. Seriously, just flip through the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) and read about Jesus' life here on earth, I'm positive God will move! But, back to what has me smiling...we announced that we were going to start having a girl's Bible study and a guy's Bible study every week in order to help them break into reading and studying the Bible on a more regular basis.

As we were packing up and heading out the door, Aqilla told us how happy she was, because she had been praying for a while that she would be able to get involved in a Bible study...and now she has TWO chances each week! It's encouraging to see these high school students so eager to learn more about our Savior...almost every kid at the Wave tonight signed up to attend the Bible studies! Praise Jesus on that one, for sure!

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

-Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

Tammy & K...

So, when we were heading out the door for outreach on Wednesday, Kim and I were chatting about plans for the evening and friends we wanted to make sure to visit. I didn't realized we weren't going to the bridges, which was a bummer...I love catching up with my friends over there and Kim had also promised a book to Tammy. Anyways, we start driving downtown and get close to University Park where we had planned to park, and...there was Tammy! Mind you, this is a nice little mile or so walk from where we usually see her. We just all looked at each other and quickly remembered that God puts us where He needs us, not where we think we need to be. I seriously had goosebumps! Off the almost 800,000 people in this city...what are the chances!

Well, after catching up with Tammy, we started heading downtown to hang out with whoever was out and hand out some sandwiches and snacks. We barely made it around Monument Circle when we ran into a group of people, most of which were teenagers. There were a couple familiar faces, but it didn't talk more than a couple seconds for about half of them to take off -- which isn't uncommon with "runaways" or homeless teenagers. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Kim walking away from the group with a young girl. I thought I'd better go walk with her since she kind of took off in a hurry. It didn't take long to realize something was wrong. (It looks like there was another reason God sent us walking downtown instead of to the camps that night.) She told us to just keep walking...even when we asked to if we could sit down on a bench and talk...no, keep walking. She was frantically trying to get away from that group of people. We finally convinced her that as long as she stayed with us she would be fine. We didn't get much out of her in way of a story before she asked for my cell phone to call her mom -- who apparently didn't care a whole lot about her daughter or her situation.

She told us she'd come up to Indy to get away from her hometown, but didn't know anyone or have any sort of plan. Her first night here, she met a guy who offered to take her to where he was staying...which happened to be an abandoned house with about 9 other people. To add to her first night excitement, she learned that the people living in this house were a "gang". They were kind enough to let her join -- after they initiated her, of course. They beat this poor girl with pipes and paddles and fists...then told her she was now a "GD", couldn't wear red, and couldn't leave the house alone. I'm not even going to comment on that, but...apparently, they found reasons to continue beating her...I guess 9 people beating on a little 19 year-old girl proves you are crazy hardcore, right?

She showed us bruise after bruise and really thought she had a cracked rib. I can't even begin to explain the insane amount of manipulation, hatred, exploitation, and just plain stupidity I witnessed that night! We heard stories from...I just call her K...but we also heard stories from "Mom" and "Dad" and their "kids"! Let me tell you about sad and messed up...they admitted to being a "gang", beating on K into the gang, but also beating her on other occasions as well. It didn't take long to catch on to the fact that this poor girl had no idea what a family or real friend or love even remotely looked like! One second she was freaked out to see "Mom" walking our way...but she leaned down and told her that she loved her and to go with us and let us help her get off the streets. They start hugging and telling each other they love one another and on and on...and a few of us who'd seen this started looking at each other in amazement...and not the good kind, we were sick! We pulled her away and started heading back to the cars. I really can't even start to explain everything we experienced up to this point. I was shocked, sickened, angry, heartbroken, confused, and just praying there was something we could do to help K.

Kim and I took her to the hospital get her rib among other things checked out...it was a long night, to say the least. Again, it would be impossible to even start to explain it. To make a really long story a little less, well...long...after hearing from the doctor and social worker that she would be able to stay at the hospital, we all headed home. The next morning, Brian, the director of TDWM was able to get her into a shelter which she managed to get kicked out of the next morning. We don't know the whole story, but a few of us spent a good amount of time last night exploring resources, tyring to track down family members, and finally just praying! We had no idea where she was going to go. She was able to stay with our awesome friends last night. We'll be trying a couple more shelters tomorrow to see if we can get her in anywhere -- but a really big concern is her running into the wonderful "family" that took her in. It won't take long for their paths to cross and she could very well end right back up where she started.

So, if you would...please pray for K and this whole situation. Pray that she would begin to see that she needs to make some major changes in her life, that shelter would be provided for her, that she would experience true love and affection from the only One who can give it. K has a number of medical and behavioral issues, and it's hard to say the root of each of them, but it's more than apparent that she has had an extremely difficult and painful 19 years. Just pray that God would wrap her in His loving arms and let her know that He is so very real and will never leave her or mistreat her! Also, pray for guidance, patience, and wisdom for everyone working on her case...I have faith that God will do something, but it is all in His timing!

And before I skip over Tammy, please pray for her as well. She is struggling with an addiction and has expressed a desire to get help, but just hasn't taken that step yet. Also, her very abusive boyfriend will be getting out of jail really, really soon and she is trying to decide if she wants to continue their relationship...pray the answer would be as obvious to her as it is to those outside the situation and that she would see how beautiful and precious she really is!