When The Deck Is Stacked Against Me...

...I Just Play A Different Game...

Yeah. Right. I don't get to pick the game. I wish. If it were only that easy. Can't I just have what I want. Come on. I know what I want. I think. I thought I knew. I'm going crazy. Are you listening. Do you hear what I am saying. Crazy. You'd understand. If I could just tell you. Let me say it. But you won't ever know. I'm out of words. But I never started talking. I guess that's just how it goes. I guess. Never mind. Maybe I can just forget. But I doubt it. So keep stacking. I'll keep pretending.

Breathe It In & Let It Go...

Enough To Let Me Go -- Switchfoot

Oh, I'm A Wandering Soul
I'm Still Walking The Line
That Leads Me Home Alone

All I Know
I Still Got Mountain To Climb
On My Own, On My Own

Do You Love Me Enough To Let Me Go?
To Let Me Follow Through
To Let Me Fall For You
Do You Love Me Enough To Let Me Go?

Back From The Dead Of Winter
Back From The Dead And All Our Leaves Are Dry
You're So Beautiful, Tonight

Back From The Dead We Went Through
Back From The Dead And Both Our Tongues Are Tied
You Look Beautiful Tonight

But Every Seed Dies Before It Grows

Breathe It In And Let It Go
Every Breath You Take Is Not Your To Own
It's Not Your To Hold
Do You Love Me Enough To Let Me Go?

At A Red Light, In The Sunshine...

It Ain't The Middle Of The Night...& It Ain't Even Raining Outside...It Ain't Exactly What I Had In Mind, For Goodbye...At A Red Light, In The Sunshine, On A Sunday...Nothin' To Say, Don't Even Try...Some Are Comin' Home, Some Are Leavin' Town, While My World's Crashin' Down...On A Sunday, In The Sunshine, At A Red Light...♥

Valentine's Day PostSecrets...

www.postsecret.com

Jacob...Isn't "Jacob" Afterall...

I finally got to have a conversation with Jacob...well, as close as we're going to get to a conversation for now. I talked, he wrote.

The first thing he wrote was this...
His name is NOT Jacob! What! He didn't seem to know how "Jacob" got started, but he was just rollin' with it. Haha.

I went out to eat with some friends the other night and had some wings left over. I figured I'd stop and drop them off to a friend. Jacob...I mean, Jude...was sitting up, which is rare, so I hopped out and asked if he wanted them. Usually he will give you that big smile, shake his head, and lay back down...but not this time, so I asked him if he wanted to talk for a minute. I ran and grabbed my journal out of my car and he didn't hesitate at all to write down "Jude Lopez". I apologized over and over for calling him Jacob all this time, but he didn't seem to mind, just tried to laugh.

I finally feel like I got to know a little bit of his story and a little bit about who he was. He's 28 and from Fort Worth, TX. He has a 2 year old daughter here in Indianapolis, but doesn't speak to her or her mother, which stinks. We talked about the track in Dallas/Fort Worth, faith, what I do with TDWM, our parents, the newspaper, our nicknames, experiences in the shelter, plans for the future, dogs, and tons of other stuff. Finally I asked what I'd been wondering the whole time...what happened to his voice? About 3 months ago he got knocked out in a fight and ever since then it has hurt too much for him to speak. He kept clearing his throat and I was like...ohh, is he going to say something? But he didn't. He said he did go to the doctor, but didn't say much more, so I guess I still don't know exactly what is wrong.

Right now, Jude says he is happy with where he is. He doesn't want to go into a shelter and he doesn't want to look for a job...and with his situation, I can understand that. But, either way, I'm still going to continue to love on him and get to know him. He really is a sweet guy...and I just can't get enough of his big smile! :)

MY Church...

This is one of the many reasons I call Indy Metro MY church...I just LOVE how much everyone genuinely loves people...

Visit www.indymetro.org if you'd like more information. Or better yet, join us Sundays at 10:30 AM in the American Cabaret Theater at 401 E. Michigan St.

A Gift From Bob...

I wrote a little bit about my friend Bob not too long ago...and now I want to share with you a gift he recently blessed me with.I was visiting with him last week and he told me he has something for me. He pulled out this 8x10 photo and told me that some guy came under the bridge asking to take pictures...I wish I knew who this guy was. I'd love to give him credit for his photo, but I'd REALLY love to thank him for being so sweet to my friend. Bob told me the guy stayed and talked to him for a couple hours and brought him donuts. When Bob handed me this photo I was so excited that he wanted ME to have it...it was the only copy he had! I asked him over and over again if he was sure, and he promised he was. He told me he wanted me to have something to remember him by.

As if I'd forget him...we've had some good conversations...and LOTS of good jokes. Hey, I bet if you ever meet Bob and mention me, he'll tell you about the "horrible" book I brought him to read! :) I'll admit I'd only read the first couple of chapters, but it seemed like an interesting book...Riding Toward Everywhere...it was a book about a guy who rode the rails, just a snapshot of his story. Well, turns out he was a bit of a "wild" guy...Bob couldn't believe that I would give him a book that talked about prostitutes and used the 'f'-word. Ooops! Haha, but we joke about it almost every time I see him.

The Big 1 & The Little 9...

“I found the big one and the little nine!”

As frustrating as my adventures in urban youth ministry are, there are just those moments that make every bit of craziness more than worth it.

After Christmas break, I took a whole new approach to The Surf...which is our 1st-6th grade group. I guess my new approach could be called...organization. :)

Part of that organization is keeping some consistency in the evening. So, something we do each week now is look up 3 or 4 verses that go with our lesson. A few of the kids have a basic understanding of the Bible, but for most of the kids it’s the first time they’ve ever looked up a specific verse or maybe even the first time they’ve opened a Bible.

One of our little boys, who is probably in 1st or 2nd grade, is incredibly hyper...and I’m not exagetaing anything, at all. He would run around and do back flips all night if we would let him. The last couple weeks I’ve spent a lot of time helping him look up our verses, but it’s a bit of a challenge to keep his attention. This week I helped him with the first two verses and tried to pick out the important parts for him to write down...he doesn’t like writing at all; I guess it’s too much like school. :)

I walked away to check on some of the other kids and then made my way back to Rahiem to see him underlining something in his Bible. I asked him what he was doing and he said...”I found the big one and the little nine!” That’s exactly how I’ve been explaining it to him over and over...find the big ‘whatever number’ and then find the little ‘whatever number’! My heart just melted. Even though he was underlining Ephesians 1:9, and not 1 John 1:9, which was the verse we were on. But hey, he got the big one and little nine part right and that is good enough for me.

I think it only took about ten minutes until I had to yell at little Rahiem to get off the pool table and stop doing back flips, but that’s okay. It’s nothing new. I’m just so thankful for that little bit of encouragement and joy God blessed me with...it was perfect timing.