Heart Of A Homeless Man...

One of my amazing homeless friends built this snowman. It's on the corner of Michigan and Pennsylvania Street . 

He says, "Everday I will put scarves, hats, and gloves on there until it starts to melt. If anyone needs the gloves or ear warmers please do take them."

 

This makes my heart smile. 

Distroying What Seeks To Distroy Me...

I love this.

This is from The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis

In his story, he and some others were on a bus trip that took them to the outskirts of heaven. There, they are able to get a glimpse of true reality - about heaven and themselves. The people from the bus trip are "ghosts" and each "Ghost" has something he must give up.

I saw coming towards us a Ghost who carried something on his shoulder. Like all the Ghosts, he was unsubstantial, but they differed from one another as smokes differ. Some had been whitish; this one was dark and oily. What sat on his shoulder was a little red lizard, and it was twitching its tail like a whip and whispering things in his ear. As we caught sight of him he turned his head to the reptile with a snarl of impatience. "Shut up, I tell you!" he said. It wagged its tail and continued to whisper to him. He ceased snarling, and presently began to smile. Then he turned and started to limp westward, away from the mountains.

"Off so soon?" said a voice.

The speaker was more or less human in shape but larger than a man, and so bright that I could hardly look at him. His presence smote on my eyes and on my body too (for there was heat coming from him as well as light) like the morning sun at the beginning of a tyrannous summer day.

"Yes, I'm off," said the Ghost. "Thanks for all your hospitality. But it's no good, you see. I told this little chap," (here he indicated the lizard), "that he'd have to be quiet if he came - which he insisted on doing. Of course his stuff won't do here: I realize that. But he won't stop. I shall just have to go home

"Would you like me to make him quiet?" said the flaming Spirit - an angel, as I now understood.

"Of course I would," said the Ghost.

"Then I will kill him," said the Angel, taking a step forward.

"Oh - ah - look out! You're burning me. Keep away," said the Ghost retreating.

"Don't you want him killed?" said the Angel.

"You didn't say anything about killing him at first. I hardly meant to bother you with something so drastic as that."

"It's the only way," said the Angel, whose burning hands were now very close to the lizard. "Shall I kill it?"

"Well, that's a further question. I'm quite open to consider it, but it's a new point, isn't it? I mean, for the moment I was only thinking about silencing it..." said the Ghost.

"May I kill it?" asked the Angel.

"Well, there's time to discuss that later" said the Ghost.

"There is no time. May I kill it?"

Please, I never meant to be such a nuisance. Please - really - don't bother. Look! It's gone to sleep of its own accord. I'm sure it will be all right now. Thanks ever so much."

"May I kill it?"

"Honestly, I don't think there's the slightest necessity for that. I'm sure I shall be able to keep it in order now. I think the gradual process would be far better than killing it." said the Ghost.

"The gradual process is of no use at all."

"Don't you think so? Well, I'll think over what you've said very carefully. I honestly will. In fact I'd let you kill it now, but as a matter of fact I'm not feeling frightfully well today. It would be silly to do it now. I'd need to be in good health for the operation. Some other day, perhaps."

"There is no other day. All days are present now."

"Get back! You're burning me. How can I tell you to kill it? You'd kill me if you did."

"It is not so."

"Why, you're hurting me now."

"I never said it wouldn't hurt you. I said it wouldn't kill you"...

The Angel's hands were almost closed on the Lizard, but not quite. Then the Lizard began chattering to the Ghost so loud that even I could hear what it was saying.

"Be careful," it said. "He can do what he says. He can kill me. One fatal word from you and he will! Then you'll be without me forever and ever. It's not natural. How could you live? You'd only be a sort of ghost, not a real man as you are now. He doesn't understand. He's only a cold, bloodless abstract thing. It may be natural for him, but it isn't for us. Yes, yes. I know there are no real pleasures now, only dreams. But aren't they better than nothing? And I'll be so good. I admit I've sometimes gone too far in the past, but I promise I won't do it again. I'll give you nothing but really nice dreams - all sweet and fresh and almost innocent. You might say, quite innocent..."

"Have I your permission?" asked the Angel to the Ghost.

"I know it will kill me."

"It won't. But supposing it did?" asked the Angel

"You're right. It would be better to be dead than to live with this creature."

"Then I may?"

"...Go on can't you! Get it over. Do what you like," bellowed the Ghost: but ended, whimpering, "God help me. God help me."

Next moment the Ghost gave a scream of agony such as I never heard on Earth. The Burning One closed his crimson grip on the reptile: twisted it, while it bit and writhed, and then flung it, broken backed on the turf.

What a great reminder. Satan is a LIAR and DECEIVER. And sometimes we have to make radical choices in order to follow Jesus. It isn't always easy and doesn't always 'feel good'. But, it will be worth it. It will be MORE than worth it.

I'm The Price I Pay...

Chasen - Castaway

I Feel Destruction Running Hard Through My Veins
But I See Redemption Rushing My Way
My Victories Are Bittersweet, And Now I Can Tell
The Only Place My Plans Have Led Me Is Right Where I Fell

I'm Overboard, Too Far From Shore
A Castaway Trying To Make It Home
I Catch My Breath To Save Myself But I Can't
In My Sight You Were Just In Time
I Feel You Now You're By My Side
And I Know You Gave Me, A Gift Of A Second Chance

I Had A Dream Of A Life Of My Own
And I Had A Place That I Thought Was My Home
But Now I See I Just Can't Have It Any Other Way
It's All Or Nothing, Do Or Die And I'm The Price I Pay Because

I'm Overboard, Too Far From Shore
A Castaway Trying To Make It Home
I Catch My Breath To Save Myself But I Can't
In My Sight You Were Just In Time
I Feel You Now You're By My Side
And I Know You Gave Me, A Gift Of A Second Chance
A Second Chance

A Second Chance I Won't Forget
A Second Life I Won't Regret
A Second Wind To Brave This Night
A Second More To Make It Right

I'm Overboard, Too Far From Shore
A Castaway Trying To Make It Home
I Catch My Breath To Save Myself But I Can't
In My Sight You Were Just In Time
I Feel You Now You're By My Side
And I Know You Gave Me, A Gift Of A Second Chance

A Gift Of A Second Chance
I'm A Castaway, With A Gift Of A Second Chance

If You Are Willing...

A man with leprosy came and knelt in front of Jesus, begging to be healed. “If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean,” he said. Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” instantly the leprosy disappeared, and the man was healed. 

-Mark 1:40-42

Jesus may not physically be in front of me...and I may not have 'leprosy', per say, but...I've still got dirt. I still have frequent moments where I need to fall on my face and ask Jesus to make me clean. There is nothing I can do to fix my 'human condition'...nothing. There is only one way. One truth. One life. And that one touch is enough. His grace IS enough.

So, here I go. Kneeling in front of my savior. Begging to be healed. Lord, if you are willing...make me clean. Because you're the only one who can. 

He Hears My Voice...

Man, life gets hard sometimes. And life gets really dark sometimes. I start to wonder if I'm ever going to get a break. If there is ever a way out. I'm quick to believe the lies that Satan feeds me. I start thinking there is no use. It's too hard. God has had enough of my bull sh*t. I've been down this road. It's nothing new. I should have learned. I'M sick of trying to give myself second, third, fourth...hundred-and-fifty-seven-thousandth chance. Why would someone so perfect take me back again and again. I just always start to wonder. 

But, my God is so gracious and so merciful and his love abounds! I love when He brings me back to that place. That place where His love is so real. His mercy is so fresh. His grace is so amazing.

This Psalm is so perfect when I'm in these moments. I need to be reminded that God hears my voice. He BENDS DOWN TO LISTEN. Is that not a beautiful picture? 

I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! Death wrapped its ropes around me; the terrors of the grave overtook me. I saw only trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “Please, Lord, save me!” How kind the Lord is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours! The Lord protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me. Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the Lord’s presence as I live here on earth!

-Psalm 116:1-9

Everything...

Everything.

The current series at Indy Metro Church is entitled 'Everything'. The focus is simple, yet profound...an act of generosity, big or small, will produce a ripple effect that will have an impact each person it touches.

As a church, we are committed to living generously and inspiring others to do the same. This recent 'challenge' has further fueled my desire to live a Christ-centered, grace-filled, life of generosity.

I'd like to share a couple quick stories in hopes that you will be spurred to take a step outside of you comfort zone and let that chain of generous events start happening where ever you are.

Dollar Store.

Last weekend, I ran into the dollar store to grab a couple things and noticed a older woman and a frail little lady she kept calling mother. As I overheard bits and pieces of their conversation, I just wanted to 'awww' at their comments about the cheesy knick-knacks.

As I walked to the checkout, they stepped in line behind me. I heard the daughter say, "Mom, that is beautiful." As I turned to see what she had picked up, the mom was holding one of those dream catchers, telling her daughter that it would bring her good luck (I didn't think that was how those 'worked' but...nonetheless).

I swiped my card and the cash back option popped up. I quickly turned around to count how many items the ladies had sat on the counter. (This dollar store happened to be a 'real' dollar store...where everything is actually a dollar.) I chose my cash back amount and as the cashier handed me my $10 bill, I handed it right back and asked her to put it toward the ladies behind me.

My attempt to be discreet about the whole thing, was foiled by the cashiers response. She kept asking what I meant and looking at me like I was a crazy person. But, I guess that is a valid response to our culture's 'it's all about me' attitude.

Gatorade.

Today, I was on my way to drop a carload of stuff off at Goodwill and drove by a couple guys holding up those side-of-the-road-advertising signs...you know, like the Cash 4 Gold ones. It wasn't extremely hot, but it was the middle of the afternoon and pretty sunny...so, I decided I'd stop and buy them a cold drink.

I drove up to the next gas station, bought them each a Gatorade and pack of cookies and headed back to drop off the little snack. I hoped out of my car and walked up to them. I'll admit, it was a little awkward at first, but that didn't last long. The first guy asked me why I was doing this and I told him just because...he asked if he could give me a hug. The second guy was a little hessitant to take my tiny gift and told me to give it to the other guy.

I told them to have a good one and started walking back to my car. As I turned around the second guy yelled at me and asked to 'see my ink'. So, I walked back and I got to explain what my tattoos meant and before I knew it, he was talking my ear off.

He showed me an old gang-related tattoo on his arm that he was in the process of getting covered up. He told me about the amazing things Jesus had done in his life and how He had rescued him. He even invited me to his church.

The three of us chatted a little while longer as the traffic zoomed by and then I jumped in my car and drove away.

--

For a couple ideas on how you can be generous, check out these suggestions for
cultivating generosity . 

"We Don’t Rest In Peace...We Just Disappear...”

"We Don’t Rest In Peace...We Just Disappear...”, originally uploaded by jlosbon.

**These carts belong to Ron. He sleeps under this bridge. He earns his 'living' collecting cans and other pieces of trash that can be sold for a little bit of change. I don't know how long Ron has been on the streets, but it is the only way he knows. I've known him for over a year and have never once seen him stand up. He is always lying down, on the concrete, with his headphones in his ears. More often than not all you can hear is static coming from his radio. I don't think he can even grasp his situation. But, then again, it's his life. And who am I to judge. I rarely hear the man complain and can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him upset. Each time we leave Ron, he prays for us. His words are beautiful. Maybe he knows more than we give him credit for. God may be all he has, but isn't God really all we need? Ron, you are truly a beautiful soul and you are so very loved.**

Make It Through...

Life isn't easy. It's really hard. It really hurts sometimes. Most of it makes very little sense. But that's nothing new and it's nothing profound. I'm just being reminded of it all. And reminded of how easy it is to want to give up and give in. That's exactly what I've been doing. Of course that never really works. Nothing ever really goes away simply because you chose to ignore it. You've got to face it. Walk right up to that giant and look him in the eye. Walk through the rain. There is hope. There is help. It's coming. Don't give up. Please, don't give up. I have got to remind myself every single day that God is bigger and God is stronger and He is my strength and He is my help. I'm going to make it through. Jesus truly IS the only name that will pull me though. Hold on.

Hold On - Rapture Ruckus

You Gotta Hold On

Help Is Coming

You Gotta Hold On

You're Going To Make It Through The Rain

Through The Rain Through The Pain

Through The Fire And Flame

The Same Name I Cling To

The Same Name That Remains Forever

The Name Above All Names

Above Death And The Grave

The Name That Cures Cancer

And Gives Strength To The Lame

The Same Name That Came And Shattered My Chains

The Same Name That Will Come And Do The Same Again For You

He's Going To Come Through

Yes It's True

Jesus The Only Name That Will Pull You Through

You Gotta Hold On

Help Is Coming

You Gotta Hold On

You're Going To Make It Through The Rain

'Cause He Said He'll Never Leave Us

Nor Forsake Us Man And That's The Only

Word You Need To Hold To

And You'll Never Be Lonely Homie

I Know I Ain't The Only Person Out There Hurting

Who's Flirted With Thought Of Ending It All

But Been Averted And I Know So Many Out There Who Have Had It Much Harder

They Got No Food In Their Bellies

Got No Mothers Or Fathers

So Many Questions Out There That Need Answers To But Even If It Comes Down To The Final Hour

Man He'll Still Come Through

You Gotta Hold On

Help Is Coming

You Gotta Hold On

You're Going To Make It Through The Rain

If You're Waiting For A Miracle

You Gotta Hold On

You Gotta Make It Through The Rain

Through The Rain

Through The Flame

You Are The Name Above Every Name

Jesus The Name Above All Names

Do Not Mix...

New and old DO NOT mix. I guess it really is that simple.

“Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before. “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the wine would burst the wineskins, and the wine and the skins would both be lost. New wine calls for new wineskins.”

-Mark 2:21-22

I'm so thankful for this reminder...a reminder and maybe even a little bit of a warning.

Thank you for making me new, Jesus. Please stop me from trying to mix the new with the old. You are all that I need.

365 Day Challenge...

I've accepted this 'challenge' via Flickr. It is simply to take one self-portrait everyday for 365 days. Here are the shots from my first week of 365 Days...

[1]

"But I'll Always Be The Girl I Am..."

♫Gretchen Wilson - Girl I Am♪

[2]

"And That's What You Get For Falling Again...You Can Never Get Him Out Of Your Head..." 

♫Sugarcult - Pretty Girl♪

  

[3]

"You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt." 

♥

[4]:

"Secrets Got Me Torn Apart, Trying To Destroy My Heart...But I Can See The Light, It's Cutting Through The Night...Everything Will Be Okay..."

♫Fireflight - Stand Up♪

 

[5]:

"You See Her Confidence Is Tragic, But Her Intuition Magic..."

♫Train - Meet Virginia♪

[6]:

"I Was Thinking Just Today About How We Used To Play Barbie Dolls & Make-Up, Tea Parties, Dress Up...Wish We Were Kids Again...My Sister, My Friend..."

♫Reba McEntire - My Sister♪

[7]:

“So Watch Me Strike A Match On All My Wasted Time...As Far As I’m Concerned, You’re Just Another Picture To Burn...”

♫Taylor Swift - Picture To Burn♪

You can keep up with my 365 Days through my Flickr Photostream or 365 Day Set. :)

Courage Is Not...

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you'll be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey."

-The Princess Diaries

Save A Life...

Please take a minute today to help save a life tomorrow.

Vote now and help the Kristin Brooks Hope Center win up to $250,000 for suicide prevention. 100% of the proceeds will go directly toward creating the first online peer-to-peer crisis network. Vote now to bring the hope and help of 1(800)SUICIDE to the web.

1. Vote online here. (It's free and only takes a few steps.)
http://bit.ly/vote_hope

2. Personally ask friends and family to vote too.

3. Post a status update on Facebook, Twitter or elsewhere. "Please vote for Kristin Brooks Hope Center to win $250 K for online suicide prevention: http://bit.ly/vote_hope

4. You can vote for both the Kristen Brooks Hope Center and Active Minds. (Voting ends July 12th.)

Flickr...

Hey friends...there are lots of new photos up on my Flickr page! Let me know what you think...pretty please! :)

 "She's Not Looking For You To Fix What's Wrong...She Needs More Than A Love Song...", 

originally uploaded by jlosbon

The World Has Plans For My Demise...

Underdog - Audio Adrenaline

"...Which Leaves Me
Down On My Knees
Back To The Place I
Should Have Started From

Been Beat Up
Been Broken Down
Nowhere But Up
When You're Face Down
On The Ground..."

Big Dave & The Cat Lady...

I want to introduce you to my friend, Dave. 'Big Dave' hold a special place in my heart, being that he was one of the first guys on the streets that I really got to know. My first couple nights of outreach, I was pretty quiet. But, as soon as I stepped out of my comfort zone and pulled up a milk crate and began asking Dave his story, everything started to change. He was no different than me, or my friends, or my family. He was a beloved child of God, a beautiful person...with a story and dreams and...and, now, he was my friend! 

Dave has been homeless for years and years and has some how survived some pretty situations addictions and heath situations. There is no doubt someone is looking out for him...and we've talked many, many times about how God is not done with him yet. It's a huge encouragement for me to hear him speak those words. I know there have been times in Dave's past where he was seemingly ready to just give up, lay down in his tent beside the river, and just quit. The last few months his attitude has been so refreshing. He has been trying and taking steps toward finding housing and programs to help him with this battle.

A few weeks ago, it seemed like it was never going to quit raining. The rising river forced Dave to leave his camp, the place he's called home for the past couple years. Surprisingly, this didn't effect his hope or positive attitude one bit. He told me that he knew if God ever made him move, it would be for good and he would not be returning to live in that tent. Fortunately, he has been able to stay with a friend the last couple weeks. So, he is off the streets for the time being and is really making an effort to find housing. Please, please pray for Dave to find housing and finally be able to get off the streets for good.   

Now, one thing I forgot to mention...and it may actually add to why Dave is one of my favorites. :) He is a crazy animal lover...like myself. He has a beautiful dog, named Bear, and a kitty, named Little Foot. With not knowing where he would be moving or how long it would be before he would be settled again, I got a phone call from a few friends who were helping Dave move his stuff. And...I ended up with Little Foot, who happened to be VERY pregnant. 

Little Foot had NINE kittens yesterday afternoon. They are adorable. This also happens to bring the total number of cats living in my house to...TWELVE! So, my claims to being a 'cat lady' are now a definite truth. ;) 

P.S. If you know anyone looking for a kitten, let me know! Pretty please! They will be ready to go to their new homes the end of August! :)

Yellow Balloons...

Recently...via PostSecret, an illegal immigrant pledged to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge – “I have lived in San Francisco since I was young...I am illegal...I am not wanted here. I don’t belong anywhere. This summer I plan to jump off the Golden Gate."

...but over 20,000 online voices responded with hope!

And today hundreds are meeting on the Golden Gate Bridge to take a stand against suicide at the very place where it happens most in the world.

PLEASE DON'T JUMP! ♥

You Are Loved...

I completely love the PostSecret project! Sometimes I smile...sometimes I want to cry...sometimes it gives me hope...

Check out the last reply on this post! I just pray that whoever wrote this PostSecret would know they are loved...and I agree, "Come to Indiana. I want you here. You could belong here."

 

Oh, Do Tell...

...well, actually...ask..anything you'd like! :)

Go on...CLICK, CLICK...ask away!

formspring! say anything :D, originally uploaded by βeeŁo.

Beautiful Birthday...

...no way I could even come close to describing this day to you! Mickey lights up my world every time I'm around him! I feel so blessed that I was able to celebrate such a special day with such a beautiful soul! :)

Missio Dei...

In three short months I'll be on my way to the rural Guatemalan village of Magdalena to serve a local art school with my church. I feel so very blessed that I've been given such an awesome opportunity to travel somewhere so different from everything I'm used to. I can't wait to see how God uses this trip...not only to share Christ's love, but to completely shake up my world!   

(c) C.S. Love Photography

Please, please pray for me, those I will be traveling with, and those we will be serving in Guatemala!